Highly Functioning.
I’m not a genius like Sherlock. I can’t tell you your life story from your thumb, I don’t have highly honed special skills and I don’t have his razor sharp wit. I wish I did, but I don’t. Instead I’m all that rude, unstable and strange without Benedict Cumberbatches’ cheek bones. The major link between me and Sherlock is that my skills are my major weaknesses and my brain doesn’t turn off.
All of my life, I’ve said things that other people call excuses and it confuses me to no end.
“I forgot”
“I didn’t hear it”
“I didn’t notice”
“It was too loud for me to study”
The biggest thing in high school is learning to do things on your own and taking responsibility for your own actions. I don’t deny that I’m a lazy bum, but there is a rather long list of things that I can’t do. It’s rather simple.
Excuses are reasons you don’t like.
In order to maintain my actual sanity, I need to read and move and analyze or I lose it and nothing I can’t function. I stay up until about two every night because it makes me sick when I get seven or more hours of sleep in a row. I have to text myself simple things like clean the dishes or do a hand sign thing (don’t even ask) or my brain will delete the short term information. Then it gone.
You see how this poses a problem.
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| Its 3'oclock and I can't sleep... |
When I say I forgot, I’m not being lazy, I’m trying to explain to you that I don’t even remember the conversation you’re talking about. I say it’s too loud to study because my brain isn’t letting me focus and I literally need to plug my ears to hold on to my train of thought. I don’t hear things because I’m doing something else in my head and you didn’t call my attention to it.
It’s stupid because an excuse is just a reason. As long as it is actually true, there is nothing to make an ‘excuse’ unimportant. They should be listened to and taken seriously (i.e Parents v. Teenagers can stop now) because you don’t know what’s going on in someone else’s’ head.
I’m highly functioning (and before you say anything, trust me- I'm using the term correctly) just like so many others. I do what they can to reach the expectations set in front of them. I’m not okay. I’m not automatically capable. I’m doing what I can to get by and if you want me to keep functioning then please let me do what I need to do and try to be patient when I make mistakes. I’m trying and I think I’m doing okay.
I hope that all made sense and thank you if you actually made it to the end of this. It just bugs me when I can’t do something and all the help I get is come on, it’s not that hard.
Just stop,
Drew